01.29.2016 Thoughts

Today is the day where I was supposed to go back home. It's the weirdest feeling to know that I could have gone back and finally hug and see my friends and family again after 5 months and everything would be how it was before. I would finish 10th grade and graduate in 2 years with all my friends. But why did I choose the harder way? Why did I choose to be away from my family for 5 more months, to repeat 10th grade and not to graduate with all my friends? Because this has always been my dream! I would be disappointed in myself for not trying hard enough and not doing everything I could have done if I would leave today. And I couldn't imagine leaving today, leaving everything here, my friends, my host family, my school, my "new" life in general and all this would just be gone, just like this. It maybe was the worst decision I ever made in one way but it is also the best, without a doubt! This experience is something that nobody can ever take away from me, because this life became a part of me and it will be forever.